Because I Said So

BabyKer is a really good baby who has already learned to respect and obey his parents, which makes me very happy, and also comes with some really good news.  BabyKer is HEAD DOWN.  I love this kid!  He was like, "Mama, I don't know if I even want to be head down, but because you're my mommy and I love you, I'm going to trust you and do what you say."  And I said, "Ok, BabyKer, you do that.  And keep up the good attitude."  He promised he will.  Little genius.  


So now that he is head down, we can finally get started on the super-quick, painless process of getting him here into the outside world.  I'm one centimeter dilated.  It would be really nice if I went back next week and it was five, but I've been asking for a lot lately and getting it, for the most part, so I'd hate to be greedy.  Just going to take deep breaths and relax and wait happily for our (that's for you, Peyton) cute little son, who is now twice verified as being a boy, by the way.  Thank goodness for that too.  We also got to see his face from a kind of up-his-nose angle, so he looks like a little piggy-baby in his picture.  It's adorable.  I can't wait to meet him.

Twenty-Two Days...

You know, there just doesn't seem to be any way to gain fake energy from a beverage without suffering massive heartburn.  I would kill for HALF a cup of coffee right now, since sleeping no longer happens, but unfortunately, my insides would dissolve and I would die a painful, burning death without ever getting to find out if BabyKer is going to do the right thing and turn over.  So far, he has not.  In fact, for the past two days, he's been trying to see just how far up he can get his head to go.  You would think my ribs and lungs would act as a road-block, but BabyKer likes a challenge, so we can add "not breathing" to the list of things I'm not going to miss soon.  Very soon, I hope.  


The baby shower was this past weekend and my aunt and friend Betsy did an amazing job.  I was very happy to eat cupcakes and not play silly shower games, and also to get to meet a few people and see some that I do not see enough.  I had a great time.  Who knew standing around talking could be so exhausting though?  WOW.  As far as grandma's behavior goes...no comment.  Let's just say, if she managed to corner you and share her thoughts on mine and Peyton's intentions (or lack thereof) to get married, then I apologize.  I've only heard from two people so far, but you never know.  Also, Alex...you do NOT have a boy's name, it is unisex and it fits you perfectly.  I need to change the subject before I work myself up.  


Coming home to a room full of much needed and very much appreciated baby goodies made it seem a little more real.  His room is starting to look like his room, and not just an afterthought room filled with leftover furniture.  Hopefully, I'll be painting it this weekend, because if I don't do it then, it's probably not happening.  Like - ever.  


In the meantime, I have a lunch hour nap to take.  Over and out.

Pee and Stuff

Well...we have about four and a half weeks to go - and guess who decided that being head-down, like he's supposed to be, just wasn't fun anymore?  Yep.  Two stubborn parents apparently make equally stubborn babies and he his now resting his little head on my ribs.  My doctor told me that maybe she's wrong but she doesn't think so, and then told me NOT to Google breech babies.  Which, to me, tells me that there is something she doesn't want me to worry about.  So I came back to work after my appointment and Googled breech babies.  I get on my own nerves sometimes.  She was right, I should not have read all that.  However, we're just going to hope he's a good little boy and goes back to where he was (and soon) so that I do not have to wallow in a new set of fears.  Ultrasound in two weeks - he has two weeks to make me proud.  MOMMY DOES NOT WANT A C-SECTION! 


In the meantime, we have boxes to unpack that seem to go on forever, a shower to go to pretty soon, and maybe someday we'll even start looking into daycares and pediatricians.  I used to be so good at planning things.  What on earth made me stop now, of all the times in my life...?  I've even influenced my unborn baby to not plan ahead.  


Zoe seems to be liking her new digs enough to not pee all over them for now.  She (so far) has the run of her new home while we are not there, and she's either holding it all day, or doing a really superb job of hiding her little indiscretions.  However, I am spending much more of my day walking around in freezing temps waiting for her to sniff every blade of grass we encounter, but whatever works, right?  The concept she clearly has not grasped yet is that Peyton lives with her now, and so he gets five times the greeting I do when we walk in the door.  For me it's, "Oh heeeey....*yawn*....you're home, huh?  That's nice."  Peyton gets, "OMG, OMG, I thought I was never going to see you again, but you're here, you actually came back! Let's HUG!"  Cute. She forgets who feeds her, obviously. 


As far as hoping the baby comes early, I think I've changed my mind.  For today at least.  I just realized yesterday that all of the things we do without thinking about them or planning ahead are coming to an end.  Like deciding to go out to eat at the last minute.  Or going to bed early because we're tired.  Or watching a movie all the way through.  Or wearing the same shirt for six straight hours without getting any pee or poop or spit-up on it.  You know, all the luxuries that we don't even know are luxuries just yet.  I think I need every day I can get right now to bask in them.  But I reserve the right to change my mind once again when I can't tie my own shoes later today.  

New Year, New Everything

Unbelievably...finally...THANKFULLY...it's moving week.  I keep shoving it to the back of my mind how much it's going to really suck, especially for Peyton, but once it's done...the BIGGEST thing on our list will be done.  I have no words for how happy that makes me.  Maybe I'll be able to relax afterwards.  Because even when it looks like I'm just sitting in bed looking like a lazy, oversized blob, I'm actually very busy inside my own head and it can get pretty exhausting.  Yes, I do it to myself, but it's pretty hard to change me, I've noticed.  Luckily, at a very young age, I learned that I can also disappear inside my own head - ironically the very place that all that needless panic and worry comes from - so I've been using that technique a lot lately.  I've lounged in some really great imaginary bubble baths, while sipping imaginary wine. I've taken some imaginary naps in a hammock in the middle of nowhere, gone for walks in lots of faraway places, and all with the background soundtrack of David Gray's "This Years Love".  Only one of my favorite songs of all time and guaranteed to calm the crazy me every time.


After this weekend, the real countdown can begin.  As of yesterday, we had six weeks left until the unlikely-to-be-punctual arrival of BabyKer.  I have other plans for his birth date however, and none of them involve me still being pregnant during the 3rd week of February.  Nine months is entirely too long to be pregnant.  And it's ten months, if anyone's really counting.  It's not just normal months, either.  Each month is the kind that lasts at least seven to eight weeks in perceptive time (and perception is reality) and so by mid-February, I will have been pregnant for most of my 30's and that is just ridiculous.  I cannot believe elephants are pregnant for two years.  It's even more surprising that we still have elephants.  I'm going to high five the next elephant I see and offer to rub her feet.  


While it's still January, I'm going to lay down some resolutions for myself.  Maybe if I write it here and make it public, I'll actually stick with a few of them. 

1. Get back to my pre-pregnancy weight MINUS another ten pounds by summer.  If this is accomplished, I'll spend the remaining six months getting into Jillian Michaels shape.  
2. Find a church that I like, ignore my grandmother's criticisms of it, and attend on a regular basis. 
3. Become more tolerant.  Of everything.  Including my grandmother.
4. Stop allowing people to disappoint me and surround myself with people who respect me. 
5. Move into a HOUSE.
6. Build new friendships with people not being referred to in #4. 
7. Learn how to relax and not worry so much.  

And no, none of those involve BabyKer.  That is because anything pertaining to him will be life-long, not just this year.  I'm sure I'll have plenty for that list once he is born.  Right now, I just want him to be born healthy and perfect and to not kill me in the process.