Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Fat, But Productive

You know that heavy/loud breathing thing that really obese people do?  Yeah...I do that now.  I just caught myself.  It's one of my pet peeves too, so this is really not an exciting development for me.  I remember sitting across the desk from this one boss I had a few years ago and just feeling disgusted, because as he rummaged around forever trying to find the file on his computer he was talking about, the only sound in the room was his heavy-for-no-reason breathing and the occasional ticking coming from his personal fridge full of snacks.  Which never kept him from pilfering from MY snack drawer anytime I left my office.  I even started to bring only cold food for lunch because if I put anything in the microwave, he'd come bounding down the stairs looking like it was Christmas morning and asking "Ooooooooh, what are we cooking??!!"  Also, he'd always stop in my office every morning and sit down to chat about nothing for a few minutes because his office was up a flight of stairs and he had to rest between the walk from his car and that large upward journey.  Ugh.  Now I'm THAT GUY.  Not that I've become obese, but still...just to count myself among the people that sound obese is not a good feeling.  What if I'm on the phone with someone I've never met?  I bet they're going to just assume.  They'll think to themselves, "It's a good thing this lady is canceling her cable, it sounds like she needs a reason to get off the couch."  You can tell I spent a good portion of my twenties being overweight, right?  Now I'm paranoid.

So other than my laborious breathing, everything is still pretty boring on the pregnancy front.  Still have a butt in my ribs, but I imagine it's a pretty cute one, so it's not really a big deal.  The baby is 90% named, I think.  Not that we're sharing, but we've been sort of stuck on one for a while now.  And guess what?  We ran it by Zoe and BabyKer and they both like it as well, so it's 100% approved.  Just have to see if it sticks now.  There's no telling with me though, my favorite color was green yesterday and today it's orange.  We have 49 days left (although I'd be perfectly happy with a few less than that), baby's head is getting bigger because my favorite part - his brain, is growing rapidly right now.  He is changing colors, from red to pink, and putting on some more body fat.  Hopefully, he's taking it from my reserves and not wasting resources.  Mom likes to recycle.

Exciting news!  We have a place to live.  It's hopefully pretty short-term.  We resigned ourselves to living in an apartment since no one seems to want to move out of their house during Christmas, which turned out to be incredibly inconvenient for us.  We'll try again in a few months.  But the good news is, BabyKer has his own room for me to paint some undecided (and surely to be re-decided) color. Peyton has been busy working on some paintings for his room too, so it's going to be pretty cute.  Bad news...Peyton is about to meet a new side of me, and I bet the first few days of living together are going to be rough.  Once we get over the initial control-freak decorator that lives deep down inside me, I think it's going to be fun, but please pray for our first week together :).  He has opinions and I am going to do my best to respect them.  Even though I think men should have no say in the matter.  I'm still going to try and be a better person than I've been in the past.  But this part of my personality is something I was born with and cannot be completely ignored, as demonstrated by the constant battle my parents faced with me when they would come home from work to find all of their furniture rearranged.  They had horrible taste, but could not be convinced of it.  I never gave up though.  If they came home today to find a certain ugly hall table missing, they would probably still know exactly which closet in which to find it.  It's like I was raised by apes, really - we have nothing in common.  But I digress.

Christmas was wonderful.  We had great visits with both of our families.  My grandmother was on great behavior, which made things much easier.  However, she was sporting a new wig and I kept seeing her across the room and not recognizing her, which was strange.  I giggled to myself a little when I saw she had slipped a copy of her Christmas letter into one of my gifts though.  Oh thank you...it's just what I wanted.  But everyone, including her, was more than generous to us and I have no complaints.  Well, except that I didn't get to drink wine with all my Christmas dinners, but there's always next year.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Fa La La La Laaaaaaaaa!

Well, I mailed my Christmas cards.  It was the easiest of the tasks on my list, and I'm ever so proud of myself.  It is also the one and only thing I have accomplished since then, but hey, I did something!  

Sleep has not been coming so easily the past few days.  I think I may be permanently uncomfortable with no other option but to wait it out.  I think I'd rather have baby-interrupted spurts of super-comfy sleep than the painful kind at this point, but patience is a virtue.

Thirty-two weeks tomorrow!  And right on schedule, my 8-weeks-ahead-of-me coworker is in labor today.  On her due date.  If you knew her, you'd know how fitting it is that her baby is so punctual already.  So if my baby's like me, he'll either be really early or won't want to bother coming out at all, depending on his mood.  

This weekend, I really wanted to have a day where we didn't do anything important - no chores, no errands, nothing.  So we did that Saturday and it was so great.  Slept in late, went to get some breakfast, did some half-hearted, unproductive shopping, rented movies, napped, and went out for dinner.  Unfortunately, dinner took place in Rockwall, so it was a little bit of a nightmare to get out there, but other than that...one of the best no-obligation days so far.  I plan to have a few more in the next few weeks.  Here's hoping.  

Christmas is this weekend - and if only it weren't almost 80 degrees outside (as well as inside, or is it just me?) I'd almost believe it.  But since I have no tree up, the sun is blazing, I haven't done any shopping and I'm not really in the mood...it just doesn't seem like it's really coming up in a matter of days.  Well, there is my friendly neighbor across the hall at work who doesn't own a pair of headphones and prefers Celine Dion over any other Christmas album...but that's the last thing that would get me in the mood for festivities.  I bet once I stop sweating, I'll be more into it.  Christmas, that is...not Celine Dion.

As of my last doctor visit, my pregnancy is still decidedly boring (which is great), according to my doctor.  I've grown 33 centimeters, and BabyKer is between 3 and 4 lbs.  I also asked for confirmation of his position so I'll know I'm not causing brain damage to him when I try to push him away from my soon-to-be broken ribs.  Good news!  I'm not - it's just his tiny, very boney hiney, which he likes to wiggle a lot.  It'll be a really cute trick in person, I'm sure.  He moves around a lot lately.  Not so much kicking as squirming...I can tell he's running out of room.  Poor thing.  Wait till he finds out he's sleeping in a basket on a nightstand when he gets here.  

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Maybe Tomorrow...

Remember when I used to blog?  Yeah, me either.  But don't worry, my neglect of you is widely and evenly spread amongst everything in my life right now, so please don't feel like I've singled you out.  My laundry?  Ingored. (As always).  Dishes?  What dishes?  Daycare?  Ehh...eventually.  Pediatrician?  I'll get around to it.  Place to live?  There's always next week.  Christmas cards?  Addressed!  But not signed.  I did the hard part and now can't make myself do the easy part.  I wrapped three out of four Christmas gifts last night.  Why not just go ahead and wrap the last one, you ask?  Didn't feel like it.  And what about naming the baby?  Noooo....we will not be getting around to that anytime soon, I promise.  

It's not like I'm tired. In fact, I'm sleeping really well for the most part.  I'm just sort of a little bit in denial, maybe.  Because just in case you thought that by the third trimester, it would have sunk in that I'm actually going to have a baby at the end of all this, it so hasn't.  It never did and still does not feel real.  Oh, I get that I'm pregnant...that part is pretty much impossible to ignore.  But the fact that there is going to be an actual human to take care of pretty soon - it just makes no sense.  I'm still puppy shopping, in fact.  When I tell people this, they look at me as if I'm absolutely insane, but with a puppy, I know what I'm getting into and that I can also change my mind if it doesn't seem to be going well.  I'm ready for a puppy.  A baby?  Not so much. 

I'm in for a pretty big reality check, right?  Trust me, I'm aware.  But it's hard to picture bringing the baby home, when we don't even know where home is.  We can, however, picture what he'll be wearing because BabyKer officially has a closetful of clothes.  A literal closetful. And Peyton has a bigger closet than I do, and that is where all things baby are living right now, so did I mention baby has a lot of clothes?  And oh my gosh, are they the cutest things ever.  So are the tiny shoes!  He already has five pairs of shoes and yes, I know he doesn't need them, but I promise he will be wearing them anyway.  With Christmas around the corner, however, I'm having to constantly remind myself that the baby isn't actually here and that he will be just fine if I don't buy him gifts this year.  The toys for six month old babies will do him no good whatsoever for at least eight months and by then...I can start shopping for next Christmas.  It's so fun though.  

Speaking of Christmas, I found out last night that my grandmother is sending out her annual Christmas letter as per the usual, and that yours truly and my exciting news of this super-long-cooking baby did not even earn a mention.  Apparently, it's just too embarrassing to share that her unwed granddaughter will be gracing the world with an illegitimate baby while shacking up in sin with the baby daddy.  Suffice it to say, I'm not surprised in the least by her omission, but my feelings are very hurt.  In fact, I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I kept working myself up by imagining the Julia Sugarbaker-type rants ("and FURTHERMOOOOOORE, Grandma....") I wish I could unleash on her if only I wouldn't have to end up being the one to apologize for hurting her feelings.  I cannot wait for all of you to get to meet her at the baby shower.  With no men around to keep her in line, I'm not really sure what she'll feel compelled to say.  But in the spirit of forgiveness, she's still invited. (Or is it in the spirit of entertainment?  Kids...and old ladies, it turns out, can say the darnedest things).  I understand that she grew up in another time and things were different, and BLAH BLAH BLAH....which is why she'll never know how I feel.  I just wish I could make her see that the same God that she is using as the foundation for her judgement and pride is the God who made sure this baby happened in the first place and that He certainly wouldn't leave me out of His Christmas letter out of embarrassment, no matter what.  And that's all I have to say about that...

In other news, my projects are starting to roll in!  What projects?  Why the ones you are working on, of course.  Duh.  While in Houston this weekend, one aunt gave me the three projects she made for BabyKer's room. One of them with a post-it note placeholder where his name will later be added.  For the record, I swear we have no idea what we are naming him.  It's true that we're not telling anyone until he's born, but it may turn out that we don't know until he's born either.  But I digress.  I also have a beautiful new watercolor from my incredibly talented cousin, Jax.  He whipped it up in about an hour.  Just saying.  Another aunt got started making origami creatures for a mobile.  And last but not least, my cousin, Jacob, somehow thought that his project was complete when he painted a watercolor four years ago, but that isn't how this works...so I'm excited to see what he creates just for the baby in the next few weeks.  I hope I'm not being too subtle for you, Jacob.  P.S.  I like trees.  

Even though I am unmotivated and becoming the champion of not getting things done, I am currently working on a new to-do list, one that I hope will have some check-marks on it the next time I write.  If you happen to get a Christmas card in the mail before Christmas, for example, you will know that I've taken at least one step in that direction.  Luckily, other people are in charge of sending out baby shower invitations, so that actually stands a chance of getting done - be checking the mail for them!  It's January 22nd and will probably be the time of your life, so you should just go ahead and mark your calendars now.  Start making travel arrangements too, if you need to.  You can come stay with me in my tent that weekend.  (Guess I better get a tent.)