Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Harrison This, Harrison That...

I have a friend...scratch that...HAD a friend who recently made me lose steam for blogging about Harrison.  Within an hour of my last blog post, she deleted me as a friend on Facebook and then got all passive aggressive and pretended it was an accident.  It was pretty gross.  So I'm just going to start this one by saying this:  

If you have any problem with my happiness...get lost.  If you feel like I'm undeserving of what I have...get lost.  If you resent me for having what you want...get lost.  If you can't handle me bragging to the world about the most perfect human being ever created...get lost.  If you consider me going on about how great my life is now a "rant"...you get the idea.  

And now that we have that out of our systems, I will go back to yapping about my child anytime I feel compelled to, and now happens to be one of those times. 

Harrison Peyton Ker...ooooh, you silly little man.  Who told you it was ok to grow up this fast?  I'd like to have a talk with them.  Within the past three weeks, he has taken to rolling over (both ways), holding his bottle himself (sometimes even using his feet), watching grown-up movies with mom and dad, recognizing certain people, reaching for us, and last but not least...."eating" rice cereal.  If you can even call it that. 

Here's my new diet plan.  Harrison taught it to me.  I'm going to strip down to my undies, grab a bowl and a spoon, and feed myself tiny spoonfuls of goo, letting at least half of it dribble back out of my mouth and into my lap.  That way, I get to taste all the gourmet delights that come my way without having to deal with the calories.  And if someone could just have a bubble bath ready and waiting for me when I'm finished, that would be pretty special.  Harrison is not a rice cereal fan.  I think he's starting to get used to it, but I read that babies sometimes have to try something fifteen times before developing a taste for it.  Awesome.  Only nine more feedings until he makes his final decision.  I think it looks like paper mache paste, and could care less if he ever wants it, but we keep trying to do what the doctor says.  Listening to him is starting to feel like listening to your parents tell you what to do.  You know they know best, but it doesn't make following directions any less annoying.  Most of his instructions are met with an internal response by me of, "Ugh! Whatever....fine."  On the outside I just smile and nod.  But in two months, when he asks how the rice cereal went, I may pretend it was great and that we didn't start vegetables three weeks early.  

Also on the list of new activities is giggling.  Harrison is now a pro at laughing, but seems to prefer to save his energy for when daddy is acting like a goofball.  Which is a lot.  YouTube video to follow shortly.  But be warned...Harrison laughing is the best thing in the history of ever, and all other things in life may seem to fall short after you experience it.  How's THAT for bragging?

I'll leave you with some photo evidence of foot-assisted bottle-holding, in case you thought I was kidding.  


  1. Since I am officially especially qualified to talk about awesome boys, I will tell you that YOU HAVE ONE. Can't WAIT to get my hands on him again. I know he has missed me too. :-)

  2. You go girl, don't let anyone pee on your delight.

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