Wednesday, August 10, 2011

It's too HOT to be pleasant!

Normally I would feel compelled to consider my audience and turn on my brain-to-mouth (or in this case, brain-to-phalanges) function, but I just don't feel that way today.'s my blog.  You're lucky I even just bothered to look up the correct spelling of phalanges, to be honest.  Saved myself some real embarrassment though, I must say.

So chalk it up to PMS or lack of sleep or something, but I just can't get it up for anything this week.  I don't feel like working, exercising, being nice to people, or functioning in any capacity that could be deemed necessary.  Needless to say, it's really not a good time for my bank to choose to F with me (and yet they have), for the hospital to ignore my requests to file Harrison being born with our insurance (morons), or for me to have to pick up my glamourous cube dwellings and move them to a back corner where I will be surrounded by...OMG...there are no words for these people, why would I even try to explain it?  My days will now be filled with comments about my unmarried status, Loudmouth complaining about everyone else being loud, and Afroduck calling Obama her "boyfriend".  Geeeeeeeeez, it hurts to think about!  I was just telling Peyton that I don't know how I could get through my day without the option of visiting Harrison whenever I feel like it and I think that little perk just became incredibly huge.  Who knows?  Maybe daycare will have to change our enrollment to "part time" due to all the hours I will soon be spending down there taking care of H myself.

Just to get it out of my system (which is running on fumes right now), I'm going to create a quick bitch-list, and then hopefully go about my day feeling a bit more calm and maybe even motivated.  (motivated to nap, maybe...)

1. I had a dream last night that people were assuming horrible things about me because Peyton and I aren't married and asking me questions about how old Harrison was when I abandoned him and who was going to act as his mother since it obviously wasn't going to be me.  Thanks, two hours of sleep, for filling  my head with that crap during the only period of rest I got the whole night!  So why wouldn't my j-ass co-worker choose today to make a similar comment to my face?  In real life?  Do you like how I hyphenated j-ass?  I shortened it, but left the ass word.  Nice, huh?  What a dick...

2. Here is me being sensitive about yesterday's Galleria incident.  If you're going to off yourself, do it in the privacy of your own home and don't throw yourself into a sea of ice-skating children!!  WTF! The off-the-charts selfishness of this one just KILLS ME, and I also have now lost my desire to go near the mall for a while since I have other things I'd rather have filling my head than the image of a bloody ice rink and crying babies.  (If they decide to go with the "he fell" version of the story, which I'm sure some ambulance-chasing lawyer has already approached the guy's gf about) then I will take back my rant.  But he didn't fall.  Just so you know.

3. I really am sick of it being this hot.  I mean, come on already, this is just stupid at this point.  And just to give me something else to be pissy about, there are idiots running around Dallas stealing air conditioners for the metal.  They stole ten from a church...and someone else stole some 70-something year old lady's from her house and she died from the heat.  PLEASE God, give me a stack of free passes to Hell so I can hand them out.  I'd be SO good at it right now.  Just one less thing for You to have to worry about anyway, what with American politicians giving you the middle finger every day. You deal with them, I'll deal with the local scum.  Deal?

4.  Coffee no longer tastes good to me.  This has been going on for close to two weeks and you would not belieeeeve how pissed I am about it.  My teeth are now permanently clenched, which feels amazing.  Not to mention the fact that it could very well be part of the reason for my delightfulness over the past couple of days.

5.  This is the at least the seventh blog entry I have written this week, and the only one that's getting posted because it's also the nicest.  You should have seen my rant about the stupidity of a little product called BinkySpritz.

And now it is time to go visit Harrison for the second time today.  There will probably even be a third.

No comments:

Post a Comment