Monday, September 20, 2010

It took me about ten seconds after finding out I was pregnant to decide that this baby was going to be a boy. It was an immediate gut feeling. Intuition. I just knew. Well, now we are three days away from finding out if I can ever trust my instincts again, and I'm getting nervous. I have fallen in love with a little boy that I haven't even met yet, and it's going to be hard if I'm told that I'll never meet him. I'll make the necessary adjustments if that is the case, but...yeah, we'll see. Wish us luck. I've told God many, many times already that it's not too late for him to change things. No one but Him knows what's happening in baby's nether-regions, it would be our little secret. But I'm not going to dwell on this right now. We will have our answer very soon, all that's left to do is wait and eat a few pieces of cake.

In the meantime, I have done two things to get myself even more into baby-mood. Both of which back-fired. First, I browsed around on YouTube last night for birthing videos, at the suggestion of this week's advice installment on my What To Expect app. Ok, so now that I know what THAT'S all about - I'm wondering how exactly this baby plans on being born, because I'm pretty sure I'm not doing that. And all the crazy comments below the videos were about how "peaceful" and "inspiring" and "moving" it was. Not to be completely unsentimental but, I'm going to spend nine months growing this baby and will very familiar with each and every move it makes, every hiccup I endure, all the fun side-effects and mood swings. Yes...there is some fun involved in that part. I'm also really excited about holding our baby for the first time and not being in labor anymore. But the in-between part is not what I want to capture on DVD and remember for all eternity. I'll pass on that one. Baby was in my tummy, and now baby is in my arms. That's all I ever need to know. Peyton has also been given very strict instructions to remain next to my head at all times, and to never glance in the wrong direction. Never.

After losing sleep over that little episode last night, I decided today to really think about registering because it seems so much more lighthearted and pleasant. Step one...I looked at cute crib bedding and diaper bags and then sort of got stuck when I tried to think of what else we need. Step two...I found a link to a "registry checklist". Great! Someone else did the work for me! I opened it up and my jaw dropped. The font was really small and the list took up the whole page and everything was divided up into categories that I didn't even know existed. Like "Layette". I don't even know what that is, but apparently there are twenty-something things we need to register for in order to complete it. There are approximately as many things needed in order to feed a baby. Up until now, I thought there were just two and that we were already good to go on that part. But no...I will need a nursing stool. Although I really kind of just pictured myself hanging out in bed while that took place. Why would I want to sit on a stool? And can I assume that's what the "splat mat" goes under? Probably not. With my complete lack of knowledge, I'm sure it has some genius and very necessary function and in a couple of years I'll be telling a pregnant friend that I'd just have died without my splat mat.

Whatever happened to just winging it? Although, no matter how much of this stuff we actually acquire, I'm pretty sure that's what we'll be doing anyway.


  1. Well crap, I forgot to name my blog.

  2. Here's your real checklist:
    1. Drugs - absolutely. That's why God invented epidurals during and morphine after. As your mother said, it is like shitting a watermelon.

    2. Two boobs and a towel. There were no "splat mats" or nursing stools required back in the dark ages when I was birthing babies.

    3. No video cameras allowed during the birth process - E.V.E.R. That is waaaaaaaaay T.M.I.

    4. Layette - duct tape, in two colors if you want some variety. You'd just have to keep washing the damned baby blankets, and duct tape is waterproof. They like swaddling, and duct tape holds their little arms in reeeel gud, AND you can tape 'em to the bed so they don't fall off when you're not looking. All my boys fell on their heads at some point, but I guess you already knew that.

    5. My phone number on speed dial, always within reach. I can keep you from making those ridiculous purchases that I made with my first baby, and accumulating the mountain of unnecessary crap that I then tripped over until I had my second child and realized I didn't need half that stuff. I came up with the duct tape idea on the third one.

    And it's okay if you forgot to name your blog, just don't forget to name your baby.

    Trying to be helpful. Love you!