Last week, Harrison spent four days at daycare. Tuesday through Friday. By Sunday evening, he was sick and throwing up everything he ate. We chalked it up to massive spit-up and took him to daycare on Monday morning anyway - other than the vomit, he seemed perfectly fine. We mentioned it to the teacher and her response was, "Yeah, I think a virus was going around the babies last week, they were all spitting up like that last week." (Now you tell us.) Monday afternoon, he was sent home with a fever and instructions not to come back the next day (don't have to tell me twice) and to bring a doctor's note upon his return.
For reasons I won't complain about right now, I have no sick time, no vacation time...nothing. So it fell to daddy to stay home with Baby Harrison on Tuesday. It broke my heart not to be the one at home with him, not because I didn't trust Peyton, but because I want Harrison to always know I'll be there when he needs me. Well, long story short - he didn't need me. Peyton did a fantastic job taking care of Harrison, who sort of looked like a faker by the time the day was over. Really, as soon as we left daycare on Monday, he smiled and played and didn't fuss and was basically as happy as he's ever been. And that continued all through Tuesday, along with a complete disappearance of the vomit episodes. I'm telling you - he doesn't want to be there. That's my boy!
Wednesday, it was business as usual and he returned to daycare, Peyton returned to work, and all was well again. Until I dropped him off this morning. As soon as I opened the car door to get him out, he threw up all over himself and his car seat. I decided to take him in, if only to clean him up. I changed his diaper and outfit, put his messy one in a bag to take home and told the teacher what had happened and to keep an eye on him. She took his temperature and it was only 98.9, so I turned to leave, but the bag I had just put Harrison's dirty clothes in was gone. I asked the teacher if she had seen it and she said no. I asked the others in the area - all said no. I searched everywhere I had been. Nothing. So....AWESOME. Someone probably threw it away. Jerks. I left.
When I got to the car, I saw H's paci sitting on the seat and ran back into the daycare to give it to him. In the 3 minutes since I had been gone, a snotty-nosed older baby had crawled over to him was playing with his toy arch and practically climbing on top of him while the teachers just stood there watching with smiles on their faces. Seriously? Am I the only person with any reason around here? I just told you he's throwing up. GET THE SNOTTY BABY OFF OF HIM. For argument's sake, let's say I didn't just tell you he's throwing up...GET THE SNOTTY BABY OFF OF HIM.
Now I'm just sitting here waiting for the phone call to come pick him up again. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm actually kind of hoping for it. I don't want the poor guy to feel badly, but I'm pretty sure that once he's home...he won't.
_________________________________________________________________________
Next subject, no segue. I want to share this with everyone I know. One of my childhood friends is going through, hopefully, the biggest struggle of her life. There is an online fundraiser this weekend to help pay for in-home care, as she is unable to care for her new baby alone. Long story short (both links below tell her story in more detail), she has severe epileptic seizures, around 25 per day, most of which cause her to lose consciousness. Her baby's cry triggers the seizures, as does standing for longer than one minute, so she has had to rely heavily on other people to care for her baby. One of her blog entries, titled "What's It Like to Be a Mommy?" is a must-read and makes my heart break for her. If I couldn't comfort Harrison when he was upset or even stand at his crib to put him to bed each night, I'd probably lose my mind.
The Foxhole Relief Project
Welcome to the Foxhole - Their Blog
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Sooooo....Did You Miss Me?
Hey guess what? I had a baby. A loooong time ago. Sorry about that. It's just that he hates for me to blog, so I have to do it when he's not around, which is pretty much never. What can I say? The kid likes attention, go figure. Didn't get that from mom and dad, so he must have picked it up from my mom's side of the family.
On Monday, Harrison will be celebrating his third month here in the outside world, where his living conditions are much larger and more interesting to look at. (I tried really hard not to end that sentence in preposition, it just couldn't be avoided.) So here is a brief rundown of the past three months. I apologize in advance for our difference in opinion on the word "brief". I just mean that it will not take you three months to read about the past three months, therefore...it must be brief.
LABOR IS FUN.
Because Peyton and I chose an adorable cable-knit sweater jumper with matching cow booties and a hat in which to bring the baby home, we checked into the hospital on a freakishly warm 70-something degree day on February 16th with three back-up outfits to choose from. No big deal though, it's not like everything he owns isn't adorable. I digress. I point this out though, as it set the tone for the day. NOTHING went according to plan.
We checked into the hospital and within an hour, I was chained to a hospital bed in an ugly gown with an IV in one arm, an epidural in my spine, and starving to death while sucking ice chips and watching commercials for food I couldn't have. It was sort of torture. But I had it in my mind that the baby would be born any minute now, and I would be feasting on something delicious by dinnertime. Fast forward to thirteen hours later, and the scene remained the same. No progress was being made, Harrison was in no mood to be born, and after one hour of really pointless pushing, I had a delightful little c-section. I was pretty much sick during the whole thing, and completely out of it, thanks to a day of drugs, so when Peyton held a surprisingly giant Harrison next to my face for me to see him for the first time, I didn't get the rush of emotion everyone talks about, and was a little bit disappointed about it. I wasn't happy to have a c-section, wasn't happy that I didn't get to see my baby be born, or hold him, or even experience it with at least a small amount of clarity. It was not the ideal birth experience I had imagined by any stretch.
In the recovery room, I fell into a drug-induced sleep and was barely able to glance at my aunt holding Harrison. It wasn't until a few hours later, when a nurse woke me up at some crazy hour, that I was finally handed my baby and allowed to hold him and really look at him. I was given about three seconds to see how beautiful and perfect he was, and then she was immediately yanking my gown open and showing me how to breast feed. Um...can I have a minute, pervert? No? Ok, thanks anyway. But fortunately she left us alone with him for about 40 minutes and that was the first time I got to really be with him. The next few days at the hospital were insane. It might be the worst place to be right after having a baby. As soon as you fall asleep, caretakers-number 1 through 14 are coming in to take your blood pressure, hand you a pill, ask you about all your personal bathroom activities, bring you the baby, tell you you're doing it wrong, tell you the nurse before was wrong, tell you you're doing it differently but still wrong, taking pictures, taking the baby, delivering flowers, delivering gross meals. It's endless. And that's not even counting the visitors, but at least we liked them. They were around during normal hours.
By the time we left the hospital, we were nervous wrecks and had had about 10 hours of sleep between the two of us over the course of 4 days. When we took Harrison to the pediatrician for his first visit at five days old, we looked like a couple of terrified homeless people and thanks to Harrison's gas, we smelled like it too. We had been home for two nights and had taken a series of 30 minute naps and may have possibly eaten a meal. I have no memory of that, though. The doctor could tell we were about to lose our minds and did a wonderful job of talking us down and reassuring us that we were doing fine and were going to make it. We FINALLY were able to relax after that. What felt like seventeen years later, we walked into his two-week appointment looking like actual humans and telling the doctor everything was fine now. I have no idea how we got to that point, but the good news is, it's been getting easier every day.
GOODBYE CASSIDY and PEYTON, HELLO MOM and DAD
There are no words in the universe that can be put together into any combination that will come close to preparing you for life after the baby is born. "Your life will never be the same." We heard that one a lot. But that's like telling someone, "This may hurt a little," right before they get torn limb from limb. All I can say is, we had no idea.
After several weeks of spontaneous, uncontrollable crying from the both of us, it sort of started to sink in that in a way, we were in mourning. That is hard to come to terms with when you're sitting there looking at the greatest gift of your life and knowing that nothing could ever top it. But we were suddenly not the people we had just been a few days ago, and that is a lot to take. It's incredibly hard to say goodbye to the person you used to be, even if who you are now is better. That other person is the one you were the longest, after all. Once I was able to just let that go, however, I was able to really fall head over heels in love with Harrison. I loved him from the second I found out I was pregnant, a million times more when he was born, but with caution. That last little part of the old me was seeing him as an obligation and it scared me. Letting go of that old way of thinking allowed me to finally appreciate what I had. Now, I don't miss the old me in the least and wouldn't want to go there again for anything in the world.
TIME IS A REAL BITCH
It is amazing to me how the days can fly by so quickly and stand still at the same time. The scary first days at home with Harrison seem like another lifetime ago and I can hardly even remember how they felt. Three short months ago. At the same time, he has grown and changed and learned so much that it feels like if I don't watch him every second, I'm going to miss something important. One day, we're planning who is going to get up in the middle of the night and then all of the sudden, there is no middle of the night, it's who's going to get him up in the morning. Three weeks ago, I couldn't wait for him to be interested in his toys that he always seemed to just look beyond without seeing. Now, I can't get him to look at me, because he's so busy watching cartoons, or batting the swinging toys hanging above him, or playing with his hands. It feels like yesterday that we were rolling up the sleeves on his newborn jammies, and now I'm shopping for his clothes in the 6 month section. All these things are happening so fast, but at the same time, it feels like years since Peyton and I were spending Harrison's first month at home together.
I want to record every second and never forget a single thing, but the truth is, it's all becoming a blur almost as quickly as it happens. There is a reason parents have 520 pictures of their baby doing nothing all afternoon. The 2-hour long videos of my brother drooling in a swing now make sense to me. There are things happening in those pictures and videos that only the parent can see.
TWO WORLDS COLLIDE
I had to go back to work this week and now it's time for me to try to find a balance between my old life and my new one. Unfortunately, "life" goes on...life being bills and work and ugly co-workers and stress that has nothing to do with babies. You know, all the stupid stuff. In a way, it matters so much less to me, but at the same time, it's twice as important because Harrison needs us to be successful for him and to provide everything he needs. Or doesn't need. (Seriously, how can you not buy your kid everything he wants? It's FUN.) But just because I have to mesh these two worlds together doesn't mean I have to like it. Now more than ever, I think America sucks. The insurance companies suck. Maternity leave is a JOKE. The country's priorities are so messed up it's embarrassing. There is no support for families like there is in so many places around the world. Places that know people need to relax, moms need to be at home with their babies for longer than six barely-paid weeks, and life doesn't revolve around work, it revolves around family. But this is where we live, and now I get to pay strangers to spend more time with my baby than I do, letting him sit in a bouncy seat and stare at a wall while they calm someone else's crying kid.
I haven't gotten to the "acceptance" stage on this one yet. But today is Friday and I made it through my first week. Now comes the time I live for - two days of uninterrupted fun with my new favorite person on the planet. And the guy he replaced, of course. Who will never really fall to second place. He's just # 1.5 now. Love my little family.
On Monday, Harrison will be celebrating his third month here in the outside world, where his living conditions are much larger and more interesting to look at. (I tried really hard not to end that sentence in preposition, it just couldn't be avoided.) So here is a brief rundown of the past three months. I apologize in advance for our difference in opinion on the word "brief". I just mean that it will not take you three months to read about the past three months, therefore...it must be brief.
LABOR IS FUN.
Because Peyton and I chose an adorable cable-knit sweater jumper with matching cow booties and a hat in which to bring the baby home, we checked into the hospital on a freakishly warm 70-something degree day on February 16th with three back-up outfits to choose from. No big deal though, it's not like everything he owns isn't adorable. I digress. I point this out though, as it set the tone for the day. NOTHING went according to plan.
We checked into the hospital and within an hour, I was chained to a hospital bed in an ugly gown with an IV in one arm, an epidural in my spine, and starving to death while sucking ice chips and watching commercials for food I couldn't have. It was sort of torture. But I had it in my mind that the baby would be born any minute now, and I would be feasting on something delicious by dinnertime. Fast forward to thirteen hours later, and the scene remained the same. No progress was being made, Harrison was in no mood to be born, and after one hour of really pointless pushing, I had a delightful little c-section. I was pretty much sick during the whole thing, and completely out of it, thanks to a day of drugs, so when Peyton held a surprisingly giant Harrison next to my face for me to see him for the first time, I didn't get the rush of emotion everyone talks about, and was a little bit disappointed about it. I wasn't happy to have a c-section, wasn't happy that I didn't get to see my baby be born, or hold him, or even experience it with at least a small amount of clarity. It was not the ideal birth experience I had imagined by any stretch.
In the recovery room, I fell into a drug-induced sleep and was barely able to glance at my aunt holding Harrison. It wasn't until a few hours later, when a nurse woke me up at some crazy hour, that I was finally handed my baby and allowed to hold him and really look at him. I was given about three seconds to see how beautiful and perfect he was, and then she was immediately yanking my gown open and showing me how to breast feed. Um...can I have a minute, pervert? No? Ok, thanks anyway. But fortunately she left us alone with him for about 40 minutes and that was the first time I got to really be with him. The next few days at the hospital were insane. It might be the worst place to be right after having a baby. As soon as you fall asleep, caretakers-number 1 through 14 are coming in to take your blood pressure, hand you a pill, ask you about all your personal bathroom activities, bring you the baby, tell you you're doing it wrong, tell you the nurse before was wrong, tell you you're doing it differently but still wrong, taking pictures, taking the baby, delivering flowers, delivering gross meals. It's endless. And that's not even counting the visitors, but at least we liked them. They were around during normal hours.
By the time we left the hospital, we were nervous wrecks and had had about 10 hours of sleep between the two of us over the course of 4 days. When we took Harrison to the pediatrician for his first visit at five days old, we looked like a couple of terrified homeless people and thanks to Harrison's gas, we smelled like it too. We had been home for two nights and had taken a series of 30 minute naps and may have possibly eaten a meal. I have no memory of that, though. The doctor could tell we were about to lose our minds and did a wonderful job of talking us down and reassuring us that we were doing fine and were going to make it. We FINALLY were able to relax after that. What felt like seventeen years later, we walked into his two-week appointment looking like actual humans and telling the doctor everything was fine now. I have no idea how we got to that point, but the good news is, it's been getting easier every day.
GOODBYE CASSIDY and PEYTON, HELLO MOM and DAD
There are no words in the universe that can be put together into any combination that will come close to preparing you for life after the baby is born. "Your life will never be the same." We heard that one a lot. But that's like telling someone, "This may hurt a little," right before they get torn limb from limb. All I can say is, we had no idea.
After several weeks of spontaneous, uncontrollable crying from the both of us, it sort of started to sink in that in a way, we were in mourning. That is hard to come to terms with when you're sitting there looking at the greatest gift of your life and knowing that nothing could ever top it. But we were suddenly not the people we had just been a few days ago, and that is a lot to take. It's incredibly hard to say goodbye to the person you used to be, even if who you are now is better. That other person is the one you were the longest, after all. Once I was able to just let that go, however, I was able to really fall head over heels in love with Harrison. I loved him from the second I found out I was pregnant, a million times more when he was born, but with caution. That last little part of the old me was seeing him as an obligation and it scared me. Letting go of that old way of thinking allowed me to finally appreciate what I had. Now, I don't miss the old me in the least and wouldn't want to go there again for anything in the world.
TIME IS A REAL BITCH
It is amazing to me how the days can fly by so quickly and stand still at the same time. The scary first days at home with Harrison seem like another lifetime ago and I can hardly even remember how they felt. Three short months ago. At the same time, he has grown and changed and learned so much that it feels like if I don't watch him every second, I'm going to miss something important. One day, we're planning who is going to get up in the middle of the night and then all of the sudden, there is no middle of the night, it's who's going to get him up in the morning. Three weeks ago, I couldn't wait for him to be interested in his toys that he always seemed to just look beyond without seeing. Now, I can't get him to look at me, because he's so busy watching cartoons, or batting the swinging toys hanging above him, or playing with his hands. It feels like yesterday that we were rolling up the sleeves on his newborn jammies, and now I'm shopping for his clothes in the 6 month section. All these things are happening so fast, but at the same time, it feels like years since Peyton and I were spending Harrison's first month at home together.
I want to record every second and never forget a single thing, but the truth is, it's all becoming a blur almost as quickly as it happens. There is a reason parents have 520 pictures of their baby doing nothing all afternoon. The 2-hour long videos of my brother drooling in a swing now make sense to me. There are things happening in those pictures and videos that only the parent can see.
TWO WORLDS COLLIDE
I had to go back to work this week and now it's time for me to try to find a balance between my old life and my new one. Unfortunately, "life" goes on...life being bills and work and ugly co-workers and stress that has nothing to do with babies. You know, all the stupid stuff. In a way, it matters so much less to me, but at the same time, it's twice as important because Harrison needs us to be successful for him and to provide everything he needs. Or doesn't need. (Seriously, how can you not buy your kid everything he wants? It's FUN.) But just because I have to mesh these two worlds together doesn't mean I have to like it. Now more than ever, I think America sucks. The insurance companies suck. Maternity leave is a JOKE. The country's priorities are so messed up it's embarrassing. There is no support for families like there is in so many places around the world. Places that know people need to relax, moms need to be at home with their babies for longer than six barely-paid weeks, and life doesn't revolve around work, it revolves around family. But this is where we live, and now I get to pay strangers to spend more time with my baby than I do, letting him sit in a bouncy seat and stare at a wall while they calm someone else's crying kid.
I haven't gotten to the "acceptance" stage on this one yet. But today is Friday and I made it through my first week. Now comes the time I live for - two days of uninterrupted fun with my new favorite person on the planet. And the guy he replaced, of course. Who will never really fall to second place. He's just # 1.5 now. Love my little family.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Captain's Log - Valentine's Day?
I am sitting at my desk at work for the last time before BabyKer's arrival (which will be forced, because as I predicted previously, he would be really early or just not want to come out at all - that's my boy). And yes, I should be working and I have been and will be, but I'm taking a breather right now. My counterpart left me high and dry today and decided to take today off, knowing I would have to cover for her and that I would already be incredibly busy wrapping things up. Not going to miss her. At all.
I know lots of people have money on when this baby is getting here and I hate to disappoint all of you, but I have not had so much as a single contraction, not a pain, a cramp, or any sort of feeling whatsoever...he's being induced on Wednesday morning, and that is the day he will be born. So if you picked that day, you win. You cheated, but you win. As for me, I have lost interest in being pregnant. Ever. BabyKer will be an only child. If he really, really, really wants a brother or sister, we'll go get him one from another country and I will throw in a steak dinner for that baby's "gestational carrier" as a thank you for doing the work. Another idea...I'll convince him that the family dog is also considered a brother or sister and we'll get him a puppy.
I do realize that my pregnancy has been "easy" and "boring" by all medical standards and I can appreciate that. It's great news. It also tells me that I am not cut out for this and if I happened to have a future pregnancy that wasn't so easy and boring, well...you wouldn't want to be around for these final days, trust me.
So as I sit here with yet another bad case of heartburn and a hip bone that pops in and out of place, I could not be more excited to meet this baby. I have a long list of selfish reasons why, but first and foremost, I'm just ready to see that he's healthy and happy and cute and to not have to wait a week between doctor visits to be reassured he's even alive. I would also like other people to get the chance to hold him for a change too, I'm not going to lie.
Also coming to a close are my pig-like eating habits. I was 100% focused on my health before, and I now will be again. I made sure BabyKer will be a lover of all things sweet, and now my job is done. Back to fish and veggies. Sorry, ice cream, I'm breaking up with you. After Wednesday of course, I still have today and tomorrow. Other things I get to welcome back into my life? Steaming hot bubble baths, entire glasses of wine, beer on the patio, sushi, turkey sandwiches, tuna steak, painting my toenails without breaking a bone, daily cups of coffee, RUNNING...life is about to be so great! Maybe we'll even remember to celebrate Valentine's Day next year, who knows? We're thinking of today more as "LAST DAY OF WORK DAY!!" which is even better.
For the moment, even though you think otherwise, BabyKer is still BabyKer, despite what Peyton may have told you. :) Yes, we picked a name, and yes...he couldn't wait to share with some people....but there are still a few people in our lives who might say something negative about it and sorry...I'm not giving them the chance. His name will be revealed once and for all on Wednesday. Which is hopefully also the day we can decide on the middle name. Or throw everyone for a loop and name him something completely different than we've ever mentioned. *Insert evil laugh here*
Until Wednesday (or probably later)...I'm busy that day.
XOXO!!
I know lots of people have money on when this baby is getting here and I hate to disappoint all of you, but I have not had so much as a single contraction, not a pain, a cramp, or any sort of feeling whatsoever...he's being induced on Wednesday morning, and that is the day he will be born. So if you picked that day, you win. You cheated, but you win. As for me, I have lost interest in being pregnant. Ever. BabyKer will be an only child. If he really, really, really wants a brother or sister, we'll go get him one from another country and I will throw in a steak dinner for that baby's "gestational carrier" as a thank you for doing the work. Another idea...I'll convince him that the family dog is also considered a brother or sister and we'll get him a puppy.
I do realize that my pregnancy has been "easy" and "boring" by all medical standards and I can appreciate that. It's great news. It also tells me that I am not cut out for this and if I happened to have a future pregnancy that wasn't so easy and boring, well...you wouldn't want to be around for these final days, trust me.
So as I sit here with yet another bad case of heartburn and a hip bone that pops in and out of place, I could not be more excited to meet this baby. I have a long list of selfish reasons why, but first and foremost, I'm just ready to see that he's healthy and happy and cute and to not have to wait a week between doctor visits to be reassured he's even alive. I would also like other people to get the chance to hold him for a change too, I'm not going to lie.
Also coming to a close are my pig-like eating habits. I was 100% focused on my health before, and I now will be again. I made sure BabyKer will be a lover of all things sweet, and now my job is done. Back to fish and veggies. Sorry, ice cream, I'm breaking up with you. After Wednesday of course, I still have today and tomorrow. Other things I get to welcome back into my life? Steaming hot bubble baths, entire glasses of wine, beer on the patio, sushi, turkey sandwiches, tuna steak, painting my toenails without breaking a bone, daily cups of coffee, RUNNING...life is about to be so great! Maybe we'll even remember to celebrate Valentine's Day next year, who knows? We're thinking of today more as "LAST DAY OF WORK DAY!!" which is even better.
For the moment, even though you think otherwise, BabyKer is still BabyKer, despite what Peyton may have told you. :) Yes, we picked a name, and yes...he couldn't wait to share with some people....but there are still a few people in our lives who might say something negative about it and sorry...I'm not giving them the chance. His name will be revealed once and for all on Wednesday. Which is hopefully also the day we can decide on the middle name. Or throw everyone for a loop and name him something completely different than we've ever mentioned. *Insert evil laugh here*
Until Wednesday (or probably later)...I'm busy that day.
XOXO!!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Because I Said So
BabyKer is a really good baby who has already learned to respect and obey his parents, which makes me very happy, and also comes with some really good news. BabyKer is HEAD DOWN. I love this kid! He was like, "Mama, I don't know if I even want to be head down, but because you're my mommy and I love you, I'm going to trust you and do what you say." And I said, "Ok, BabyKer, you do that. And keep up the good attitude." He promised he will. Little genius.
So now that he is head down, we can finally get started on the super-quick, painless process of getting him here into the outside world. I'm one centimeter dilated. It would be really nice if I went back next week and it was five, but I've been asking for a lot lately and getting it, for the most part, so I'd hate to be greedy. Just going to take deep breaths and relax and wait happily for our (that's for you, Peyton) cute little son, who is now twice verified as being a boy, by the way. Thank goodness for that too. We also got to see his face from a kind of up-his-nose angle, so he looks like a little piggy-baby in his picture. It's adorable. I can't wait to meet him.
So now that he is head down, we can finally get started on the super-quick, painless process of getting him here into the outside world. I'm one centimeter dilated. It would be really nice if I went back next week and it was five, but I've been asking for a lot lately and getting it, for the most part, so I'd hate to be greedy. Just going to take deep breaths and relax and wait happily for our (that's for you, Peyton) cute little son, who is now twice verified as being a boy, by the way. Thank goodness for that too. We also got to see his face from a kind of up-his-nose angle, so he looks like a little piggy-baby in his picture. It's adorable. I can't wait to meet him.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Twenty-Two Days...
You know, there just doesn't seem to be any way to gain fake energy from a beverage without suffering massive heartburn. I would kill for HALF a cup of coffee right now, since sleeping no longer happens, but unfortunately, my insides would dissolve and I would die a painful, burning death without ever getting to find out if BabyKer is going to do the right thing and turn over. So far, he has not. In fact, for the past two days, he's been trying to see just how far up he can get his head to go. You would think my ribs and lungs would act as a road-block, but BabyKer likes a challenge, so we can add "not breathing" to the list of things I'm not going to miss soon. Very soon, I hope.
The baby shower was this past weekend and my aunt and friend Betsy did an amazing job. I was very happy to eat cupcakes and not play silly shower games, and also to get to meet a few people and see some that I do not see enough. I had a great time. Who knew standing around talking could be so exhausting though? WOW. As far as grandma's behavior goes...no comment. Let's just say, if she managed to corner you and share her thoughts on mine and Peyton's intentions (or lack thereof) to get married, then I apologize. I've only heard from two people so far, but you never know. Also, Alex...you do NOT have a boy's name, it is unisex and it fits you perfectly. I need to change the subject before I work myself up.
Coming home to a room full of much needed and very much appreciated baby goodies made it seem a little more real. His room is starting to look like his room, and not just an afterthought room filled with leftover furniture. Hopefully, I'll be painting it this weekend, because if I don't do it then, it's probably not happening. Like - ever.
In the meantime, I have a lunch hour nap to take. Over and out.
The baby shower was this past weekend and my aunt and friend Betsy did an amazing job. I was very happy to eat cupcakes and not play silly shower games, and also to get to meet a few people and see some that I do not see enough. I had a great time. Who knew standing around talking could be so exhausting though? WOW. As far as grandma's behavior goes...no comment. Let's just say, if she managed to corner you and share her thoughts on mine and Peyton's intentions (or lack thereof) to get married, then I apologize. I've only heard from two people so far, but you never know. Also, Alex...you do NOT have a boy's name, it is unisex and it fits you perfectly. I need to change the subject before I work myself up.
Coming home to a room full of much needed and very much appreciated baby goodies made it seem a little more real. His room is starting to look like his room, and not just an afterthought room filled with leftover furniture. Hopefully, I'll be painting it this weekend, because if I don't do it then, it's probably not happening. Like - ever.
In the meantime, I have a lunch hour nap to take. Over and out.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Pee and Stuff
Well...we have about four and a half weeks to go - and guess who decided that being head-down, like he's supposed to be, just wasn't fun anymore? Yep. Two stubborn parents apparently make equally stubborn babies and he his now resting his little head on my ribs. My doctor told me that maybe she's wrong but she doesn't think so, and then told me NOT to Google breech babies. Which, to me, tells me that there is something she doesn't want me to worry about. So I came back to work after my appointment and Googled breech babies. I get on my own nerves sometimes. She was right, I should not have read all that. However, we're just going to hope he's a good little boy and goes back to where he was (and soon) so that I do not have to wallow in a new set of fears. Ultrasound in two weeks - he has two weeks to make me proud. MOMMY DOES NOT WANT A C-SECTION!
In the meantime, we have boxes to unpack that seem to go on forever, a shower to go to pretty soon, and maybe someday we'll even start looking into daycares and pediatricians. I used to be so good at planning things. What on earth made me stop now, of all the times in my life...? I've even influenced my unborn baby to not plan ahead.
Zoe seems to be liking her new digs enough to not pee all over them for now. She (so far) has the run of her new home while we are not there, and she's either holding it all day, or doing a really superb job of hiding her little indiscretions. However, I am spending much more of my day walking around in freezing temps waiting for her to sniff every blade of grass we encounter, but whatever works, right? The concept she clearly has not grasped yet is that Peyton lives with her now, and so he gets five times the greeting I do when we walk in the door. For me it's, "Oh heeeey....*yawn*....you're home, huh? That's nice." Peyton gets, "OMG, OMG, I thought I was never going to see you again, but you're here, you actually came back! Let's HUG!" Cute. She forgets who feeds her, obviously.
As far as hoping the baby comes early, I think I've changed my mind. For today at least. I just realized yesterday that all of the things we do without thinking about them or planning ahead are coming to an end. Like deciding to go out to eat at the last minute. Or going to bed early because we're tired. Or watching a movie all the way through. Or wearing the same shirt for six straight hours without getting any pee or poop or spit-up on it. You know, all the luxuries that we don't even know are luxuries just yet. I think I need every day I can get right now to bask in them. But I reserve the right to change my mind once again when I can't tie my own shoes later today.
In the meantime, we have boxes to unpack that seem to go on forever, a shower to go to pretty soon, and maybe someday we'll even start looking into daycares and pediatricians. I used to be so good at planning things. What on earth made me stop now, of all the times in my life...? I've even influenced my unborn baby to not plan ahead.
Zoe seems to be liking her new digs enough to not pee all over them for now. She (so far) has the run of her new home while we are not there, and she's either holding it all day, or doing a really superb job of hiding her little indiscretions. However, I am spending much more of my day walking around in freezing temps waiting for her to sniff every blade of grass we encounter, but whatever works, right? The concept she clearly has not grasped yet is that Peyton lives with her now, and so he gets five times the greeting I do when we walk in the door. For me it's, "Oh heeeey....*yawn*....you're home, huh? That's nice." Peyton gets, "OMG, OMG, I thought I was never going to see you again, but you're here, you actually came back! Let's HUG!" Cute. She forgets who feeds her, obviously.
As far as hoping the baby comes early, I think I've changed my mind. For today at least. I just realized yesterday that all of the things we do without thinking about them or planning ahead are coming to an end. Like deciding to go out to eat at the last minute. Or going to bed early because we're tired. Or watching a movie all the way through. Or wearing the same shirt for six straight hours without getting any pee or poop or spit-up on it. You know, all the luxuries that we don't even know are luxuries just yet. I think I need every day I can get right now to bask in them. But I reserve the right to change my mind once again when I can't tie my own shoes later today.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
New Year, New Everything
Unbelievably...finally...THANKFULLY...it's moving week. I keep shoving it to the back of my mind how much it's going to really suck, especially for Peyton, but once it's done...the BIGGEST thing on our list will be done. I have no words for how happy that makes me. Maybe I'll be able to relax afterwards. Because even when it looks like I'm just sitting in bed looking like a lazy, oversized blob, I'm actually very busy inside my own head and it can get pretty exhausting. Yes, I do it to myself, but it's pretty hard to change me, I've noticed. Luckily, at a very young age, I learned that I can also disappear inside my own head - ironically the very place that all that needless panic and worry comes from - so I've been using that technique a lot lately. I've lounged in some really great imaginary bubble baths, while sipping imaginary wine. I've taken some imaginary naps in a hammock in the middle of nowhere, gone for walks in lots of faraway places, and all with the background soundtrack of David Gray's "This Years Love". Only one of my favorite songs of all time and guaranteed to calm the crazy me every time.
After this weekend, the real countdown can begin. As of yesterday, we had six weeks left until the unlikely-to-be-punctual arrival of BabyKer. I have other plans for his birth date however, and none of them involve me still being pregnant during the 3rd week of February. Nine months is entirely too long to be pregnant. And it's ten months, if anyone's really counting. It's not just normal months, either. Each month is the kind that lasts at least seven to eight weeks in perceptive time (and perception is reality) and so by mid-February, I will have been pregnant for most of my 30's and that is just ridiculous. I cannot believe elephants are pregnant for two years. It's even more surprising that we still have elephants. I'm going to high five the next elephant I see and offer to rub her feet.
While it's still January, I'm going to lay down some resolutions for myself. Maybe if I write it here and make it public, I'll actually stick with a few of them.
After this weekend, the real countdown can begin. As of yesterday, we had six weeks left until the unlikely-to-be-punctual arrival of BabyKer. I have other plans for his birth date however, and none of them involve me still being pregnant during the 3rd week of February. Nine months is entirely too long to be pregnant. And it's ten months, if anyone's really counting. It's not just normal months, either. Each month is the kind that lasts at least seven to eight weeks in perceptive time (and perception is reality) and so by mid-February, I will have been pregnant for most of my 30's and that is just ridiculous. I cannot believe elephants are pregnant for two years. It's even more surprising that we still have elephants. I'm going to high five the next elephant I see and offer to rub her feet.
While it's still January, I'm going to lay down some resolutions for myself. Maybe if I write it here and make it public, I'll actually stick with a few of them.
- Get back to my pre-pregnancy weight MINUS another ten pounds by summer. If this is accomplished, I'll spend the remaining six months getting into Jillian Michaels shape.
- Find a church that I like, ignore my grandmother's criticisms of it, and attend on a regular basis.
- Become more tolerant. Of everything. Including my grandmother.
- Stop allowing people to disappoint me and surround myself with people who respect me.
- Move into a HOUSE.
- Build new friendships with people not being referred to in #4.
- Learn how to relax and not worry so much.
And no, none of those involve BabyKer. That is because anything pertaining to him will be life-long, not just this year. I'm sure I'll have plenty for that list once he is born. Right now, I just want him to be born healthy and perfect and to not kill me in the process.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Fat, But Productive
You know that heavy/loud breathing thing that really obese people do? Yeah...I do that now. I just caught myself. It's one of my pet peeves too, so this is really not an exciting development for me. I remember sitting across the desk from this one boss I had a few years ago and just feeling disgusted, because as he rummaged around forever trying to find the file on his computer he was talking about, the only sound in the room was his heavy-for-no-reason breathing and the occasional ticking coming from his personal fridge full of snacks. Which never kept him from pilfering from MY snack drawer anytime I left my office. I even started to bring only cold food for lunch because if I put anything in the microwave, he'd come bounding down the stairs looking like it was Christmas morning and asking "Ooooooooh, what are we cooking??!!" Also, he'd always stop in my office every morning and sit down to chat about nothing for a few minutes because his office was up a flight of stairs and he had to rest between the walk from his car and that large upward journey. Ugh. Now I'm THAT GUY. Not that I've become obese, but still...just to count myself among the people that sound obese is not a good feeling. What if I'm on the phone with someone I've never met? I bet they're going to just assume. They'll think to themselves, "It's a good thing this lady is canceling her cable, it sounds like she needs a reason to get off the couch." You can tell I spent a good portion of my twenties being overweight, right? Now I'm paranoid.
So other than my laborious breathing, everything is still pretty boring on the pregnancy front. Still have a butt in my ribs, but I imagine it's a pretty cute one, so it's not really a big deal. The baby is 90% named, I think. Not that we're sharing, but we've been sort of stuck on one for a while now. And guess what? We ran it by Zoe and BabyKer and they both like it as well, so it's 100% approved. Just have to see if it sticks now. There's no telling with me though, my favorite color was green yesterday and today it's orange. We have 49 days left (although I'd be perfectly happy with a few less than that), baby's head is getting bigger because my favorite part - his brain, is growing rapidly right now. He is changing colors, from red to pink, and putting on some more body fat. Hopefully, he's taking it from my reserves and not wasting resources. Mom likes to recycle.
Exciting news! We have a place to live. It's hopefully pretty short-term. We resigned ourselves to living in an apartment since no one seems to want to move out of their house during Christmas, which turned out to be incredibly inconvenient for us. We'll try again in a few months. But the good news is, BabyKer has his own room for me to paint some undecided (and surely to be re-decided) color. Peyton has been busy working on some paintings for his room too, so it's going to be pretty cute. Bad news...Peyton is about to meet a new side of me, and I bet the first few days of living together are going to be rough. Once we get over the initial control-freak decorator that lives deep down inside me, I think it's going to be fun, but please pray for our first week together :). He has opinions and I am going to do my best to respect them. Even though I think men should have no say in the matter. I'm still going to try and be a better person than I've been in the past. But this part of my personality is something I was born with and cannot be completely ignored, as demonstrated by the constant battle my parents faced with me when they would come home from work to find all of their furniture rearranged. They had horrible taste, but could not be convinced of it. I never gave up though. If they came home today to find a certain ugly hall table missing, they would probably still know exactly which closet in which to find it. It's like I was raised by apes, really - we have nothing in common. But I digress.
Christmas was wonderful. We had great visits with both of our families. My grandmother was on great behavior, which made things much easier. However, she was sporting a new wig and I kept seeing her across the room and not recognizing her, which was strange. I giggled to myself a little when I saw she had slipped a copy of her Christmas letter into one of my gifts though. Oh thank you...it's just what I wanted. But everyone, including her, was more than generous to us and I have no complaints. Well, except that I didn't get to drink wine with all my Christmas dinners, but there's always next year.
So other than my laborious breathing, everything is still pretty boring on the pregnancy front. Still have a butt in my ribs, but I imagine it's a pretty cute one, so it's not really a big deal. The baby is 90% named, I think. Not that we're sharing, but we've been sort of stuck on one for a while now. And guess what? We ran it by Zoe and BabyKer and they both like it as well, so it's 100% approved. Just have to see if it sticks now. There's no telling with me though, my favorite color was green yesterday and today it's orange. We have 49 days left (although I'd be perfectly happy with a few less than that), baby's head is getting bigger because my favorite part - his brain, is growing rapidly right now. He is changing colors, from red to pink, and putting on some more body fat. Hopefully, he's taking it from my reserves and not wasting resources. Mom likes to recycle.
Exciting news! We have a place to live. It's hopefully pretty short-term. We resigned ourselves to living in an apartment since no one seems to want to move out of their house during Christmas, which turned out to be incredibly inconvenient for us. We'll try again in a few months. But the good news is, BabyKer has his own room for me to paint some undecided (and surely to be re-decided) color. Peyton has been busy working on some paintings for his room too, so it's going to be pretty cute. Bad news...Peyton is about to meet a new side of me, and I bet the first few days of living together are going to be rough. Once we get over the initial control-freak decorator that lives deep down inside me, I think it's going to be fun, but please pray for our first week together :). He has opinions and I am going to do my best to respect them. Even though I think men should have no say in the matter. I'm still going to try and be a better person than I've been in the past. But this part of my personality is something I was born with and cannot be completely ignored, as demonstrated by the constant battle my parents faced with me when they would come home from work to find all of their furniture rearranged. They had horrible taste, but could not be convinced of it. I never gave up though. If they came home today to find a certain ugly hall table missing, they would probably still know exactly which closet in which to find it. It's like I was raised by apes, really - we have nothing in common. But I digress.
Christmas was wonderful. We had great visits with both of our families. My grandmother was on great behavior, which made things much easier. However, she was sporting a new wig and I kept seeing her across the room and not recognizing her, which was strange. I giggled to myself a little when I saw she had slipped a copy of her Christmas letter into one of my gifts though. Oh thank you...it's just what I wanted. But everyone, including her, was more than generous to us and I have no complaints. Well, except that I didn't get to drink wine with all my Christmas dinners, but there's always next year.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Fa La La La Laaaaaaaaa!
Well, I mailed my Christmas cards. It was the easiest of the tasks on my list, and I'm ever so proud of myself. It is also the one and only thing I have accomplished since then, but hey, I did something!
Sleep has not been coming so easily the past few days. I think I may be permanently uncomfortable with no other option but to wait it out. I think I'd rather have baby-interrupted spurts of super-comfy sleep than the painful kind at this point, but patience is a virtue.
Thirty-two weeks tomorrow! And right on schedule, my 8-weeks-ahead-of-me coworker is in labor today. On her due date. If you knew her, you'd know how fitting it is that her baby is so punctual already. So if my baby's like me, he'll either be really early or won't want to bother coming out at all, depending on his mood.
This weekend, I really wanted to have a day where we didn't do anything important - no chores, no errands, nothing. So we did that Saturday and it was so great. Slept in late, went to get some breakfast, did some half-hearted, unproductive shopping, rented movies, napped, and went out for dinner. Unfortunately, dinner took place in Rockwall, so it was a little bit of a nightmare to get out there, but other than that...one of the best no-obligation days so far. I plan to have a few more in the next few weeks. Here's hoping.
Christmas is this weekend - and if only it weren't almost 80 degrees outside (as well as inside, or is it just me?) I'd almost believe it. But since I have no tree up, the sun is blazing, I haven't done any shopping and I'm not really in the mood...it just doesn't seem like it's really coming up in a matter of days. Well, there is my friendly neighbor across the hall at work who doesn't own a pair of headphones and prefers Celine Dion over any other Christmas album...but that's the last thing that would get me in the mood for festivities. I bet once I stop sweating, I'll be more into it. Christmas, that is...not Celine Dion.
As of my last doctor visit, my pregnancy is still decidedly boring (which is great), according to my doctor. I've grown 33 centimeters, and BabyKer is between 3 and 4 lbs. I also asked for confirmation of his position so I'll know I'm not causing brain damage to him when I try to push him away from my soon-to-be broken ribs. Good news! I'm not - it's just his tiny, very boney hiney, which he likes to wiggle a lot. It'll be a really cute trick in person, I'm sure. He moves around a lot lately. Not so much kicking as squirming...I can tell he's running out of room. Poor thing. Wait till he finds out he's sleeping in a basket on a nightstand when he gets here.
Sleep has not been coming so easily the past few days. I think I may be permanently uncomfortable with no other option but to wait it out. I think I'd rather have baby-interrupted spurts of super-comfy sleep than the painful kind at this point, but patience is a virtue.
Thirty-two weeks tomorrow! And right on schedule, my 8-weeks-ahead-of-me coworker is in labor today. On her due date. If you knew her, you'd know how fitting it is that her baby is so punctual already. So if my baby's like me, he'll either be really early or won't want to bother coming out at all, depending on his mood.
This weekend, I really wanted to have a day where we didn't do anything important - no chores, no errands, nothing. So we did that Saturday and it was so great. Slept in late, went to get some breakfast, did some half-hearted, unproductive shopping, rented movies, napped, and went out for dinner. Unfortunately, dinner took place in Rockwall, so it was a little bit of a nightmare to get out there, but other than that...one of the best no-obligation days so far. I plan to have a few more in the next few weeks. Here's hoping.
Christmas is this weekend - and if only it weren't almost 80 degrees outside (as well as inside, or is it just me?) I'd almost believe it. But since I have no tree up, the sun is blazing, I haven't done any shopping and I'm not really in the mood...it just doesn't seem like it's really coming up in a matter of days. Well, there is my friendly neighbor across the hall at work who doesn't own a pair of headphones and prefers Celine Dion over any other Christmas album...but that's the last thing that would get me in the mood for festivities. I bet once I stop sweating, I'll be more into it. Christmas, that is...not Celine Dion.
As of my last doctor visit, my pregnancy is still decidedly boring (which is great), according to my doctor. I've grown 33 centimeters, and BabyKer is between 3 and 4 lbs. I also asked for confirmation of his position so I'll know I'm not causing brain damage to him when I try to push him away from my soon-to-be broken ribs. Good news! I'm not - it's just his tiny, very boney hiney, which he likes to wiggle a lot. It'll be a really cute trick in person, I'm sure. He moves around a lot lately. Not so much kicking as squirming...I can tell he's running out of room. Poor thing. Wait till he finds out he's sleeping in a basket on a nightstand when he gets here.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Maybe Tomorrow...
Remember when I used to blog? Yeah, me either. But don't worry, my neglect of you is widely and evenly spread amongst everything in my life right now, so please don't feel like I've singled you out. My laundry? Ingored. (As always). Dishes? What dishes? Daycare? Ehh...eventually. Pediatrician? I'll get around to it. Place to live? There's always next week. Christmas cards? Addressed! But not signed. I did the hard part and now can't make myself do the easy part. I wrapped three out of four Christmas gifts last night. Why not just go ahead and wrap the last one, you ask? Didn't feel like it. And what about naming the baby? Noooo....we will not be getting around to that anytime soon, I promise.
It's not like I'm tired. In fact, I'm sleeping really well for the most part. I'm just sort of a little bit in denial, maybe. Because just in case you thought that by the third trimester, it would have sunk in that I'm actually going to have a baby at the end of all this, it so hasn't. It never did and still does not feel real. Oh, I get that I'm pregnant...that part is pretty much impossible to ignore. But the fact that there is going to be an actual human to take care of pretty soon - it just makes no sense. I'm still puppy shopping, in fact. When I tell people this, they look at me as if I'm absolutely insane, but with a puppy, I know what I'm getting into and that I can also change my mind if it doesn't seem to be going well. I'm ready for a puppy. A baby? Not so much.
I'm in for a pretty big reality check, right? Trust me, I'm aware. But it's hard to picture bringing the baby home, when we don't even know where home is. We can, however, picture what he'll be wearing because BabyKer officially has a closetful of clothes. A literal closetful. And Peyton has a bigger closet than I do, and that is where all things baby are living right now, so did I mention baby has a lot of clothes? And oh my gosh, are they the cutest things ever. So are the tiny shoes! He already has five pairs of shoes and yes, I know he doesn't need them, but I promise he will be wearing them anyway. With Christmas around the corner, however, I'm having to constantly remind myself that the baby isn't actually here and that he will be just fine if I don't buy him gifts this year. The toys for six month old babies will do him no good whatsoever for at least eight months and by then...I can start shopping for next Christmas. It's so fun though.
Speaking of Christmas, I found out last night that my grandmother is sending out her annual Christmas letter as per the usual, and that yours truly and my exciting news of this super-long-cooking baby did not even earn a mention. Apparently, it's just too embarrassing to share that her unwed granddaughter will be gracing the world with an illegitimate baby while shacking up in sin with the baby daddy. Suffice it to say, I'm not surprised in the least by her omission, but my feelings are very hurt. In fact, I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I kept working myself up by imagining the Julia Sugarbaker-type rants ("and FURTHERMOOOOOORE, Grandma....") I wish I could unleash on her if only I wouldn't have to end up being the one to apologize for hurting her feelings. I cannot wait for all of you to get to meet her at the baby shower. With no men around to keep her in line, I'm not really sure what she'll feel compelled to say. But in the spirit of forgiveness, she's still invited. (Or is it in the spirit of entertainment? Kids...and old ladies, it turns out, can say the darnedest things). I understand that she grew up in another time and things were different, and BLAH BLAH BLAH....which is why she'll never know how I feel. I just wish I could make her see that the same God that she is using as the foundation for her judgement and pride is the God who made sure this baby happened in the first place and that He certainly wouldn't leave me out of His Christmas letter out of embarrassment, no matter what. And that's all I have to say about that...
In other news, my projects are starting to roll in! What projects? Why the ones you are working on, of course. Duh. While in Houston this weekend, one aunt gave me the three projects she made for BabyKer's room. One of them with a post-it note placeholder where his name will later be added. For the record, I swear we have no idea what we are naming him. It's true that we're not telling anyone until he's born, but it may turn out that we don't know until he's born either. But I digress. I also have a beautiful new watercolor from my incredibly talented cousin, Jax. He whipped it up in about an hour. Just saying. Another aunt got started making origami creatures for a mobile. And last but not least, my cousin, Jacob, somehow thought that his project was complete when he painted a watercolor four years ago, but that isn't how this works...so I'm excited to see what he creates just for the baby in the next few weeks. I hope I'm not being too subtle for you, Jacob. P.S. I like trees.
Even though I am unmotivated and becoming the champion of not getting things done, I am currently working on a new to-do list, one that I hope will have some check-marks on it the next time I write. If you happen to get a Christmas card in the mail before Christmas, for example, you will know that I've taken at least one step in that direction. Luckily, other people are in charge of sending out baby shower invitations, so that actually stands a chance of getting done - be checking the mail for them! It's January 22nd and will probably be the time of your life, so you should just go ahead and mark your calendars now. Start making travel arrangements too, if you need to. You can come stay with me in my tent that weekend. (Guess I better get a tent.)
It's not like I'm tired. In fact, I'm sleeping really well for the most part. I'm just sort of a little bit in denial, maybe. Because just in case you thought that by the third trimester, it would have sunk in that I'm actually going to have a baby at the end of all this, it so hasn't. It never did and still does not feel real. Oh, I get that I'm pregnant...that part is pretty much impossible to ignore. But the fact that there is going to be an actual human to take care of pretty soon - it just makes no sense. I'm still puppy shopping, in fact. When I tell people this, they look at me as if I'm absolutely insane, but with a puppy, I know what I'm getting into and that I can also change my mind if it doesn't seem to be going well. I'm ready for a puppy. A baby? Not so much.
I'm in for a pretty big reality check, right? Trust me, I'm aware. But it's hard to picture bringing the baby home, when we don't even know where home is. We can, however, picture what he'll be wearing because BabyKer officially has a closetful of clothes. A literal closetful. And Peyton has a bigger closet than I do, and that is where all things baby are living right now, so did I mention baby has a lot of clothes? And oh my gosh, are they the cutest things ever. So are the tiny shoes! He already has five pairs of shoes and yes, I know he doesn't need them, but I promise he will be wearing them anyway. With Christmas around the corner, however, I'm having to constantly remind myself that the baby isn't actually here and that he will be just fine if I don't buy him gifts this year. The toys for six month old babies will do him no good whatsoever for at least eight months and by then...I can start shopping for next Christmas. It's so fun though.
Speaking of Christmas, I found out last night that my grandmother is sending out her annual Christmas letter as per the usual, and that yours truly and my exciting news of this super-long-cooking baby did not even earn a mention. Apparently, it's just too embarrassing to share that her unwed granddaughter will be gracing the world with an illegitimate baby while shacking up in sin with the baby daddy. Suffice it to say, I'm not surprised in the least by her omission, but my feelings are very hurt. In fact, I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I kept working myself up by imagining the Julia Sugarbaker-type rants ("and FURTHERMOOOOOORE, Grandma....") I wish I could unleash on her if only I wouldn't have to end up being the one to apologize for hurting her feelings. I cannot wait for all of you to get to meet her at the baby shower. With no men around to keep her in line, I'm not really sure what she'll feel compelled to say. But in the spirit of forgiveness, she's still invited. (Or is it in the spirit of entertainment? Kids...and old ladies, it turns out, can say the darnedest things). I understand that she grew up in another time and things were different, and BLAH BLAH BLAH....which is why she'll never know how I feel. I just wish I could make her see that the same God that she is using as the foundation for her judgement and pride is the God who made sure this baby happened in the first place and that He certainly wouldn't leave me out of His Christmas letter out of embarrassment, no matter what. And that's all I have to say about that...
In other news, my projects are starting to roll in! What projects? Why the ones you are working on, of course. Duh. While in Houston this weekend, one aunt gave me the three projects she made for BabyKer's room. One of them with a post-it note placeholder where his name will later be added. For the record, I swear we have no idea what we are naming him. It's true that we're not telling anyone until he's born, but it may turn out that we don't know until he's born either. But I digress. I also have a beautiful new watercolor from my incredibly talented cousin, Jax. He whipped it up in about an hour. Just saying. Another aunt got started making origami creatures for a mobile. And last but not least, my cousin, Jacob, somehow thought that his project was complete when he painted a watercolor four years ago, but that isn't how this works...so I'm excited to see what he creates just for the baby in the next few weeks. I hope I'm not being too subtle for you, Jacob. P.S. I like trees.
Even though I am unmotivated and becoming the champion of not getting things done, I am currently working on a new to-do list, one that I hope will have some check-marks on it the next time I write. If you happen to get a Christmas card in the mail before Christmas, for example, you will know that I've taken at least one step in that direction. Luckily, other people are in charge of sending out baby shower invitations, so that actually stands a chance of getting done - be checking the mail for them! It's January 22nd and will probably be the time of your life, so you should just go ahead and mark your calendars now. Start making travel arrangements too, if you need to. You can come stay with me in my tent that weekend. (Guess I better get a tent.)
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