Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Intelligender is Not Your Friend

I found a loophole in the Peyton-says-it-costs-too-much Intelligender situation. I had a gift card to Target and guess whaaaat? Target sells it! So this realization was incredibly exciting for me and on my way home, I stopped and bought the test, a Bella Band, new bath towels and a bath mat, a soap dispenser and a toothbrush holder. And I still have $5 left on the card. Not bad for a Monday. Plus, besides having 'peeing in a cup' to look forward to this morning, I also got to look forward to doing so in my freshly spruced up bathroom. It was completely subconscious, but all the bathroom stuff I bought was basically the exact shade of green I wanted the test to turn (boy).

So I wake up well before my alarm went off this morning, because I reallyhad to go. But I forced myself to lay in bed until 6:15, naturally not falling back asleep since I was pretty uncomfortable, but I didn't want to risk not needing to go anymore once I officially got up. So the alarm goes off, I ignore Zoe sitting by the front door, and take the test. Yellow-orange will mean it's a girl. Green will mean it's a boy. Seems pretty simple. Well. I never knew how similar those two colors could be. Seriously? I'm looking at a jar filled with a really strange greenish-yellowish-orangish liquid and my heart SANK. Because now, I know that I either have a baby with no working "parts" or $30 of my hard-earned gift card just got wasted on a jar full of my pee that I have no other use for!!!!!

I have since confirmed with 3 other people that my test results were useless. I also emailed pictures to the Intelligender customer service people and told them they ruined my morning. Hopefully, they will have something useful to say back to me, like, "Here's a check for $30" or "You are not smart enough to use our test, that picture is OBVIOUSLY showing (insert boy or girl here)." We shall see.

In the meantime, I have decided I no longer care what gender the baby is. So at least something good came out of this.

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