Last But Not Least

I have been dreading telling my grandmother on my dad's side that I am pregnant. My sweet, VERY conservative Southern Baptist grandmother who taught me how to sit with my ankles crossed (which I never do) and told me that all make-up collections need a good, slate-blue eye shadow. That was in the late 80's, of course but still...always keep up appearances. She is the one who sent me to church camp every year, took me to church with her on Sundays, drove me back and forth to vacation Bible school, had me baptized and sang hymns to me to help me sleep. So for the past few weeks, telling her that I am pregnant with no plans to get married has been weighing pretty heavily on my sinful shoulders. But by Saturday, the time had come. Everyone else knows and it was only a matter of time before she found out from someone other than me. In the past, she has always been who I told things to first, but this...this was different. This is something I have lost sleep over. My aunt offered to go with me, told me to definitely leave Peyton at home, and we both silently prepared for me to be excommunicated from the family, or at the very least, left out of the Christmas letter this year. (It wouldn't be the first time.)

However, with the pressure on, I decided to do it my way and to take Peyton with me. He brings me peace and is the one other person who is just as much a part of this as I am. Not to mention the points it would earn him by being at my side. So we headed over to grandma's house and visited with her for a while and drank iced tea and sat in big pink chairs and I listened to her tell Peyton stories that I've heard so many times, I could probably tell them even better than she can. Then Howard called. Howard is my grandmother's boyfriend and wanted to come see her. Right then. For a few days, he has been worried that perhaps she has met someone else (which at 79, even she laughed at) so he couldn't wait for dinner to get his fix, he needed to come over much, much sooner. Howard is a dear, sweet man who showers my grandmother with affection and attention, but despite that, I had no desire to share my news with him there. So now I had about 20 minutes left at most to get the words out. I kept listening for the sound of his car outside while I tapped my fingers on the pink armrests and waited for an opening from my grandmother. I don't remember if I got one, or if I just interrupted her but finally, I was able to manage, "Well, Peyton and I have some news," while thinking, "Please don't look at my left hand, please please..."

*silence*

"We're going to have a baby."

*silence* followed by "You're kidding." (Said in a tone that said she really did believe we were kidding.)

"No, we're not kidding. And we're very excited."

"Well so am I!!!"

Whaaaat??? Grandma just said she was excited. The next few minutes were a blur as we shot down questions about marriage and got that out of the way and then she darted to the patio where she was storing some of my cousin's baby dresses and started talking about how it just has to be a girl because these little smocked dresses are expensive and not that easy to find, you know.

Somewhere in there, Howard arrived and she greeted him with, "Helloooo! We're looking at baby clothes!! They're having a baby!" And we all sat around for a few minutes and talked about how that was just fine, because these are different times, after all.

And boy, aren't they?